Pros and cons of winter sports

Kayla Camacho and Nicole Cerulli

Since we’re now a couple weeks into the winter sports season, we thought it would be appropriate to analyze the pluses and minuses of the various sports options available at Winsor.  You can tell us how accurate you think they are.

Basketball

http://imgc.allpostersimages.com/images/P-473-488-90/53/5310/R8OIG00Z/posters/michael-jordan-2011-portrait-plus.jpg

your future

Pros

  • could become next Michael Jordan
  • you’re probably tall
  • ball is life
  • you get to wear midcalfs

Cons

  • midcalfs are dumb

Hockey

Pros

  • you get to wear blades on your feet
  • the puck looks funny (in a cute way?)

Cons

  • falling on your butt
  • falling on your face
  • falling and not being able to get up because ice
  • you might die because you have blades on your feet

Squash

Pros

  • if you’re choosing to play squash you’re probably really good at squash
  • sounds like a nutritious vegetable

Cons

  • dweeby goggles make you look like you play squash
  • what even is squash

Swimming

Pros

  • one step closer to being a mermaid
  • If Leo DiCaprio swam maybe it wouldn’t have mattered if there wasn’t room on the raft thingy

Cons

  • the blurred line between swimming and drowning
  • the walk through frozen hell on the way back from  the Simmons gym
http://static.businessinsider.com/image/52e1870569beddd8691b31ef/image.jpg

Bonus Curling Pro: the association with the Norwegian Olympic team’s pants

Curling

Pros

  • it only meets twice a week
  • you still get apparel

Cons

  • olympic curlers are not cute
  • what even is curling

Volleyball

Pros

  • everything

Cons

  • it doesn’t exist

Zumba

Pros

  • your hips don’t lie

Cons

  • your hips might lie a little because you are not Shakira

Yoga

Pros

  • no running
  • lets you pretend to be dead sometimes

Cons

  • surprisingly painful
  • makes you feel very inadequate

Step Club

Pros

  • cool yellow pedometer
  • practicing essential life skills

Cons

  • none

Tags: ,

Categories: Red Hot Humor, Sports, Uncategorized, Winsor Wildcats

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